Self-sabotaging behavior can block you from success in nearly every area of your life and affect your overall mental health. Changing these patterns can be tricky, so it’s vital to recognize and understand them.
Understanding Your Self-Sabotaging Behavior
The first step is to accept and understand yourself before you try to understand others. You’ll need to look deep inside yourself and listen to your inner dialogue. During the listening phase, when you hear self-sabotaging thoughts, don’t judge them or try to change them. Instead, stay open-minded and have an awareness of your deep-rooted beliefs. This is an essential step in changing self-sabotaging behaviors.
Introspection can be challenging, but it’s incredibly powerful for changing negative-self talk and ultimately stopping self-sabotaging.
It can be helpful to journal when self-limiting thoughts pop up. Work to understand where this talk comes from, or if you’ve heard someone else say something similar to you. We learn everything from the world around us, so there’s a good chance your negative voice is actually someone else’s.
Understanding where it comes from isn’t as crucial as identifying why it’s false. For example, if a recurring thought for you is something like, “I’ll never be able to get a high-paying job.” look for proof that it isn’t true. Hundreds of thousands of people less intelligent than you are somehow capable of making good money. The truth is, there is no reason you can’t; if others can, so can you. By shifting this thought, you can begin brainstorming how you will make good money rather than shutting the idea down immediately.
4 Steps to Overcoming Self-Sabotaging Behavior
- Recognize that you are the author of your life and it is up to you, and you alone, who can change your path.
- Make the decision to continue to work on your self-sabotaging behavior until it stops hindering your life.
- Consistently shift “I can’t” statements to “I can.” Write down your feelings and behaviors in a notebook each day. Replace the negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Consistent positive self-talk will help reprogram your brain to be wired for success.
- Pay attention to all aspects of your life and make positive shifts in areas you’re unhappy. Ask yourself why you do the things you do. Are the beliefs around your habits and routines from you or from others?
Conclusion
Self-sabotaging behavior doesn’t stop overnight. You’ll have to work consistently to change your thoughts, which will change your actions. Don’t give up, even if it gets hard.
If you struggle to come up with positive thoughts, check out my workbook and e-guide Mindful & Intentional with journal prompts and positive affirmations.
