I had an anxiety attack this morning.
Anxiety is something that I have struggled with since childhood. I never had a stable life growing up, and no matter where I was living there was always something or someone to feel anxious about.
I grew up always being on my toes, and preparing myself for the next horrible thing to take place, because in my toxic household it was always to be expected.
As many of you know, I’ve done a lot of self development work to combat my ongoing anxiety and depression. I don’t think I’ll ever rid anxiety from my life completely, but I’ve gotten pretty damn good at being resilient!
But still, I had an anxiety attack this morning.
As many of you know, I’ve been doing Miracle mornings for a little over a week now. Having some time to myself to just organize my thoughts and start my day off slow and stress free has completely changed my life.
This morning, I really needed some peace. My pets are usually a little crazy in the mornings, so I asked my boyfriend if he minded watching them. He of course agreed to keep an eye on them while I meditated.
Well, my dog was begging to let out and kept going crazy barking and jumping on the door. (Typical Petey) Not only that, but I could still hear my cat meowing! (She’s in heat right now.) Finally my boyfriend opened up the door to let my dog out because he needed to go outside – 10 seconds into my meditation. I immediately burst into tears and walked out, feeling distraught. I thought I would finally have a day of complete silence with no distractions. I know it sounds petty and dramatic, but welcome to anxiety. It doesn’t always take a lot to trigger it.
So, I went for my walk, came back, and Billy immediately held me while I cried and talked to him about everything that has had me down the last few days. He reassured me that everything would be okay. By this point, I was kind of over trying to make myself feel better. When you have anxiety and depression, it’s hard to come out of it when it pulls you back in. Billy told me to at least try again, so I agreed.
I meditated, felt a little bit better. I had so many thoughts that I immediately skipped to the “scribe” step of my miracle mornings. It felt so good to get all the crazy thoughts in my brain out onto a piece of paper.
I then went to my affirmations. I saw how powerful my affirmations were yesterday, and thought to myself, “Am I really going to let one bad morning destroy the goals I had for myself?” The answer was no.
Slowly but surely, I was starting to feel inspired again. Instead of wanting to give up on myself, I had even more ideas on how I could help people!
How cool is that?
I went from having an anxiety attack to being back to my normal, passionate self in a little over an hour. This process used to take me weeks or even months! Now, I can usually bounce back within the same day.
One of the things that came to me during my meditation and writing was to start documenting my miracle morning journey. I know a lot of people who follow me don’t often realize how hard overcoming anxiety is for me because I have become so resilient.
It’s taken a lot of work. I’m not perfect, but I’m getting better.
If you’re reading this and struggle with anxiety, you’re not alone. You’re capable of amazing things. If I can get through this, then so can you!